Last installment of `The Wink' part 4 of 4

Hi all,

Thanks for hanging around for my story. I hope ya didn't get too bored or sleepy... and no, I don't need any pats on the back or comments. I just wanted to share.

Oh, and I did warn that someone might get more out of this than the others... read on and find out what I am talking about. he he he he he

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We could talk there. I was so tempted. I gathered up all my strength and said no. I am going home and think about this. As much as I wanted him, I knew deep down that I had to get away from this situation. As I got into my car, he leaned against the window and told me that he would be back here at the store at nine in the morning. He would wait for me and we could go somewhere to talk. I knew talking wasn’t what he had in mind. I nodded and drove away. I had to think about this. I have a husband and kids to think about. But then what would a little fling hurt?

I guess I was still a little shook when I stopped to get the girls. Mom asked me if I was okay. She told me I looked flushed. I had to smile at that use of the word `flushed’. The thoughts I had been having lately made me feel like something to be flushed down the toilet. I tried to tell Mom that I was okay but being a mother, she stayed on the inquisition. She wanted to know if everything was okay between me and Ted. I told her we weren’t having any problems. Again, being a mother, she wanted to know if I had missed a period. Somehow mothers always head in that direction. I assured her I was not pregnant, sick, or suffering from some incurable tropical disease. Mom finally backed off of me and we had a nice cold glass of ice tea. But even with the decline of questions, Mom kept studying me. Christ, I hope she can’t read what’s been going through my mind. I gathered up the kids and drove home. My thoughts kept bouncing around between good sense and passion. I know what I should do but I have missed the passion in my life. I know you probably don’t agree but I, as a human, should have the right to happiness even if that means a lover on the side. Right?? When I asked that question, I knew I needed help.

I felt the need to talk to someone who could give me some good, sound advice. I pulled in to a McD's parking lot. I knew I could talk here. I called my dear friend, Becky. She is one who loves her family and husband dearly. She is a caring person who I know I could trust. We have talked many hours while quilting together. The subjects varied from sewing & quilting to life, family and husband. She was an inspiration to me and probably never knew that. I love my husband and kids yet I never seemed to have that glow when talking about them like Becky did hers. I called on my cell phone. She answered. I could hear the grandkids in the background. And even though she was babysitting, she had time for me and to listen to my story. For over an hour, we talk. She was very sympathetic but denounced what I was thinking about. I asked her what to do. She gave me the most simple answer.... Talk to your husband. Communication is the most important part of a marriage. How can one fix a problem if they don't know there is a problem? I had my answer and headed home.

Ted came in a little early from work. I had just started supper when he walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He didn’t say anything for quite a white. I looked around at him and found him watching me. I smiled and that seemed to open the floodgate of discussion. I told him that we needed to talk. We sat at the kitchen table and the words flowed. He was great; he listened.

After a few minutes of silence, he said he want to apologize for being such a horse’s butt. He went on to explain how much he loved me but recognized his obsession with work. It was explained that all that was going to change. He found the old me during last night and that had brought out the old him. And he didn’t want to lose it. In our talk, I found that he had missed all the things we used to do just like I had been missing them. For the first time in years, we talked. We talked through supper and talked after the twins were put to sleep in their beds. We both were letting our feelings be known of how we have felt for years. We had just existed in our marriage and we each found we wanted more. Ted was who I loved and he was the only man who I wanted to make love with. What we had is so much better than just passion. Sex without love is just sex. But to love that person you are with only enhances and intensifies the sexual act. That is called making love. Sex is something two dogs can do. But making love is special and that’s what Ted and I did after we quit talking. And he was ever bit as romantic as he was the when we first married. I held on to him like there was no tomorrow .. I wanted him to love me and he did. He controlled my body and my mind. There was no John in my bed tonight. There was only the man I loved; the man I married. There was nothing more to say .. except `I love you’. And that said it all.

With my girls in tow the next morning, I walked into the HEB and went to the snack bar. John was sitting there sipping a cup of coffee. His white teeth flashed when he saw me but quickly disappeared when he saw that my daughters were with me. I walked up to the table and smiled. He stood and asked if this demonstration was to be my answer of `No’. I resented his use of the word `demonstration’. I will admit I carried the girls with me for support but I would have turned him down even if I had gone alone. Becky and Ted helped me to see the light. I told him that while I did enjoy his company, it was best to walk away like nothing had ever happened. And then the bastard had the audacity to say, `Hey, your loss”. I turned and walked out of the store and went home. I was proud of myself. I had conquered my weakness. Oh, I’m sure that the time will roll around when I wonder `what if’. I might even daydream about the tall, dark man who winked at me. But when it all comes down to life and living, I have a husband who loves me and children who depend on me. And that’s enough.

Well, that’s my story and you may judge me as you will. But this could happen to you too. Oh, you’ll say it could never happen to you. That’s what I used to say too. And as far as fantasies, I don’t fault anyone who uses their imaginations in their marriage; even if it would be used to produce an imaginary lover. Heck, it might even help put a little spice in life. It might just add that spark which kindles a fire in your love life. But for me, my biggest turn on is with my husband when he comes in from work and kisses me. And then he gives me a wink. That’s when I know he’ll be checking out the tomatoes later.

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Surprise Becky, you're famous!!!!!

Well, there it is. An (almost) adult story with a neat lesson. One thing about me and my Molly, we talk. That is such an important part of marriage. Okay ... enough with the lecture. I hope y'all enjoyed my little flash into my mind of imagination.. I'm thinking of doing another. We'll see!!!

bye for now